Author: Aubrey Muegge

Are you the “cool girl” or are you the “other girl”?  Or maybe you’re the guy that told a girl “you’re not like other girls, you’re cool!”.

Social media has drawn us further away from the “I” and has emphasized our relationship to the “me”. What the hell does that mean? Well… let ~Mead~ tell you!  

American philosopher George Herbert Mead theorized that our interactions and socializations with others influences how we think about our-“self”. This idea of “self” toggles between what he names the “me” and the‘I”. The “me” is the cultivated idea of “self”. It’s the unique recipe of experiences and social interactions that makes up how we think of ourselves. It’s the part of you that internalized that “you’re not like other girls” comment from your middle school crush. Whereas the “I” is who you really are, your soul, your ego, your internal “self”.

It’s safe to say that this idea of “I’m not like other girls” developed in the pre-social media world. It is nearly innate to human nature to compare ourselves to one another. Whether it is in pre-social media world or the social mediatized world, this phenomenon happens purely out of a place of understanding the “me”. With the convenience of social media, we have the ability to compare ourselves to others at the palm of our hand.

The internalization of external interactions of the “me” has taken on a whole new level through maintaining a social media identity. Where societies interactions were subjective to people’s immediate environment, it is now open to endless amounts of virtual interactions through our online identity.

Girls can relate to the phrase “not like other girls”, because that’s what that one person said 10 years ago or we feel this way based of our own comparison to others. 

We all know that girls are expected to behave and look a certain way. Our interactions with others and pop culture shapes this idea of traditional femininity. This shared ideology of what a woman or girl is supposed to look like is cultivated by our socialization with other women. As individuals we take all of these external factors in and reflect them as our “me”. The trope of “normal girls” and “other girls” derives from the rejection of these stereotypical gender roles.

If a girl doesn’t fit into the generalized standards of what it “is” to be girl, then they are categorized as the “other”. Essentially, this gets solidified to “not like other girls’ = good and “other girls” = bad. Many of these types of memes are from the perspective of the “other girl”.

So, instead of feeling like an outcast as the “other girl”, they chose to own it and identify with it as a part of their “self”. Kinda, sounds like a good thing, self-acceptance am I right?

When posts are made by the self-deprecating perspective by the “other girl”, it can be understood as the “I” breaking off from the “me” and claiming ownership to their identity. However, since one is just adapting to the identity that others gave them, then it is more of an illusion of finding the “I” than anything else. The true “I” seems to be nearly unreachable in this case.

Then a skskskssk and I oop, Tik Toc came along. What use to be  #Notlikeothergirls  memes escalated to videos and the generalization of different types of girl broadened to VSCO girls, E-Girls, and Soft Girls. This platform makes #Notlikeothergirls in parody videos where the “other girl” is like every other girl. In other words, the “normal girls” take ownership in being the “other girl”.

Wait, I thought the “other girl” = bad? Now the “cool girls” are rebelling against the “other girls” rebellion against stereotypes?

What happens to the “other girls” self-worth when it has become nothing but a parody? I don’t have an answer for it. However, you would expect it to depreciate but on the other hand, maybe it become oddly liberating that their whole identity is trending as a parody and that’s what “the cool girls” are doing now.

So who’s the “other girl” now? That’s right, there is no “other girl”. 

The problem is that we all want to fit in but we also want to stand out and these are very contradictory goals.

Where societies interactions were subjective to people’s immediate environment, it is now open to endless amounts of virtual interactions. The internalization of external interactions of the “me” has taken on a whole new level through maintaining a social media identity. 

This inevitably pulls people away from having a relationship to their “I” and creates obsession over fulfilling the “me”.

Girls nor boys should be generalized to be one or the other. There is not just one or the other. We can wear sneakers one night and heels the next.  So, stop telling your middle school crushes “you’re not like other girls”. Obsess over finding your “I”, whatever that means to you.

Creating a new blog sounds easy, right? But you still haven’t started. Sort of like that New Years resolution you promised yourself to keep and never got around to.

Most New Year’s resolutions don’t work because we don’t take the time to establish guidelines to follow to reach our goal. To avoid failing at this whole blog thing, let’s talk about four guidelines to consider while creating a blog post.

Tell a Story

Not only does a story captured the reader’s attention, it creates a more memorable experience for the reader.  There are several ways you can incorporate a story into your blog. For instance, I captured your attention by comparing starting a blog to starting a New Year’s resolution. It’s a familiar story that nearly everyone has experienced. The reader can identify with that familiar story and have a stronger connection to the content of the blog. 

In What Star Wars Can Teach About Talent Management, they draw meaning from a well known film series to better understand talent management. A common formula I have seen across blogs is to begin with telling the familiar story, then go deeper into what it actually means in relation to the rest of the blogs content. 

A story doesn’t always have to be a familiar story. Although, if it’s not relatable, it should at least be interesting. Michelle Johnson shares her personal story on her relationship to perfectionism. The reader may not be a perfectionist themselves but this makes the reading all that more intriguing. If the reader doesn’t identify with her story of perfectionism, they now have a story to at least understand the perspective of the author. Whether your story is building a connection with the force or telling a personal experience, think of the story as building a bridge between the writer and the reader.

Personable Tone

Having a personable tone goes hand in hand with telling a story. Picture yourself telling your best friend about  how excited you are to start your New Year’s resolution; about how you were going to wear your new workout clothes you got from Christmas. And, wait for it… you just bought protein and a shaker bottle because that’s what fit people do! You wouldn’t keep a formal persona. You would be excited and engaging. You would use personal language to like, “I” and“you” .

Using a personable tone makes you more relatable to the audience. Rather than seeming like you’re on a higher level than them, the audience should feel a personal connection solely through the content you’re putting out. Throughout your posts, you should develop a personal style that is a reflection of yourself. The most authentic way to do this is to write like you would talk to a friend.

Structure Your Post

You need to have a logical flow within the structure of your blog. There is not a one answer fits all. The structure of the blog post is dependent on the content of the post. Maybe you want to provide an ethical list of where to find free photos. You would establish the context of why it is important and go on to display the sources in a list of sections. In this case, separating each piece of advice into takeaway sections is appropriate and expected for easy advice implementation. 

You should consider which structure will best complement the content of the post. For instance, if you are doing an analysis or telling more of a personal story that has built a relationship between the writer and the reader, using a list of takeaways may feel a bit odd. In this case, you would go for more of a narrative style. Thus, just organizing your points into paragraphs. 

Support Your Arguments

While it is best to be personable and relatable, you still need to be credible. Whatever niche your blog is, you can build credibility for your arguments with the support of outside sources. Doing so makes your work more respectable. Essentially, we want to avoid claiming truths like you would in your diary, with no support. Like choosing your structure, you should consider which style works best for the content of the blog. 

If the piece is relatively a short read, it may be best to provide in-text citations for easy access to the context. This style may be to distracting for a deeper analysis or your own liking so go for basis MLA citations at the bottom.

Your pictures should also be cited and hyperlinked to their source. Like this picture above. Not only is it ethical, it adds to your credibility so, at the very least do it for yourself.

Happy New Blog!